Weddings,Baptisms, Funerals
Weddings in the Church
A Church wedding is two things: a legal ceremony and a service of worship. The wedding may be very large or small, formal or informal. Nevertheless, the spiritual dimension is essential for a church wedding and so, in the service, we pray for God’s blessing on the couple being married- that Christian love may be part of their lives.
You also need a license which you may obtain from the Department of Vital Statistics, 201-1120 Westwood Street, Coquitlam , BC. ,or from London Drugs. The license is valid for three months and you must give it to Administrator of the Parish at least one week before the wedding rehearsal.
MEETING THE OFFICIANT OF YOUR WEDDING
The meeting with the Priest will give you insight into what is one of the most important decisions of your life. There will be discussion about the wedding service itself. Your understanding of what marriage is, and a variety of other topics will be covered.
MARRIAGE PREPARATION
Besides the meeting with the Priest, Canon Law requires participation in a marriage preparation course. We will give you information about such a course at your first meeting with the Priest.
WEDDING REHEARSAL
Those present should be the Bride, the Groom and their attendants and any other participants ( ushers, readers, musicians etc) We also
expect that the photographer and video tech. Will be present unless you have made previous arrangements with the Priest. Parents and family members are most welcome.
THE WEDDING DAY
Ushers need to arrive at least 30 minutes before the service, the Groom and the Best Man about 20 minutes before the service, the Bridal party a few minutes before the service.
THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY
The following are some guidelines for planning the service: a) Confetti may be used outside the church only.
b) The church will supply a musician for you. You may suggest special music in consultation with the Priest or musician.
c) Flowers and pew bows are your responsibility unless you have made previous arrangements with the Altar Guild. It is appropriate (but not required) for the flowers at the Altar to be left in the church for Sunday worship following your wedding.
-Two floral arrangements can be placed beside the altar on the appropriate stand.
-Floral arrangements may also be placed on the floor and in the back of the sanctuary. Floral arrangements may be placed at the entrance and on the table holding the Guest Book.
-In the Church, we do not place anything on the Altar or the Altar rails. -
Thetwo Church candles and holders are the only candles to be used.
D) we will ask that guests and photographer refrain from taking pictures during the actual service, other than during the procession in and out of the Church and at the singing of the Marriage Register and certificate. You should discuss other plans for photography and video with the Priest.
SETTING THE DATE OF THE WEDDING
Church Law requires 90 days notice for a wedding. Making your request even earlier to avoid disappointment is wise. Weddings on church Holy Days including Christmas , Easter and the week before Christmas and Easter are not possible.
Costs
The church requests a donation of $525.00 which includes the fee for the Organist. If this amount presents hardship, please discuss with the Priest. Please plan on paying the fee one month before the wedding.
BAPTISM
Baptism is undertaken as an expression of faith and as a means of initiating people into Christ and the faith community we call “the Church.”
The New Testament proclaims that Jesus urged His disciples to “baptize all nations” (Matt. 28). In other words, the new life is meant to be shared. God’s love is meant for the whole world, so in baptizing people, the Church is trying to be faithful to that mandate.
Undertaking Baptism is a sign of spiritual re-birth and a commitment to living intentionally for Christ in the context of the Church. In Baptism God’s grace is conferred, the flowing water symbolizing God’s faithful love for us, which renews us in life. Baptism is meant to be seen as a key moment of consciously and intentionally becoming what we are meant to be: “children of God,” brothers and sisters in Christ, ambassadors of the Good News.
Baptism has therefore been considered the primary sacrament of the Church, a defining moment. It is a moment that has significant implications for your future, as it expresses your intention to lead the new life. It is a celebration of the new life we receive through believing, and so the entire congregation celebrates together in every Baptism, renewing our own commitment to living “in Christ.”
Preparation and Expectations
Adult candidates and couples making the Christian commitment on behalf of a child will be invited to attend a short course of four sessions which explains the nature of the Christian life. We will also go over details of the service – where to sit, what to wear, etc.
At the service, candidates are “examined” and questioned as to whether they are ready to make the commitment of becoming an active follower of Christ and member of the Church. So it is expected that candidates will be familiar with these promises, and be able to make them in good conscience, with the intention of living them, not merely saying them.
It is our responsibility as a faith community to work with the applicants in order to discern whether they are sincere and ready for this commitment. In much the same way, the Church works with couples to ensure that they undertake marriage as a meaningful and lasting commitment.
Godparents
When we baptize infants, we acknowledge and symbolize the good will of God toward all people and God’s capacity to bless and shape us long before we consciously respond as fully as we might. Infant candidates are represented by mature Christians who have made the promises themselves and now make them on behalf of the child.
Godparents, along with parents, assume responsibility for the spiritual and moral development of the child, and promise to guide the child toward the point of consciously making that commitment him/herself at Confirmation.
Godparents do not have to be Anglican, but are expected to be baptized and practising Christians. The parish will provide godparents if parents are not able to find such people in their own family or circle.
The Role of the Parish
Godparents help to symbolize the fact that we share responsibilities for Christian nurture, that we need other people to help provide proper models and guidance. Thus the life of the parish is not incidental to the living of the Christian vocation. Baptism is not a private affair, or something people take from the Church. Baptism is a celebration of the new life we have received in Christ and which we continue to share in the context of the Body of Christ.
The parish commits to supporting those who make this important commitment – welcoming them, assisting them, encouraging them, guiding them and seeking to create meaningful relationships. The clergy are here as mentors, pastors, spiritual guides, and you are welcome to call on them for help in considering, making or keeping this commitment.
The parish has the expectation that a Baptism signifies that those to be baptized are going to be a part of their parish family. That is a cause for rejoicing.
FUNERALS AND MINISTRY AT TIME OF DEATH
Death confronts us in the depths of our being. It is a momentous and intimidating event, and can leave us disoriented and afraid. It is important to find ways of approaching death that allow us to acknowledge it, accept it, and move forward in hope.
From the perspective of faith, dying can be a beautiful and meaningful transition, an opening to new life. The clergy are always willing to be with someone who is dying, to offer prayer and hope, and to offer a loving and steady presence at a difficult and often frightening time. We will come to either home or hospital and offer “Last Rites,” or prayers for the dying.
It has been the practice of the Christian Church for many centuries to gather at the time of death in order to reflect and commemorate, to commiserate and comfort, and to express our hope and faith that “in Christ shall all be made alive.” A funeral service is an opportunity for reflection, thanksgiving, prayer, and mutual support, a time to be reassured and upheld by the spiritual resources of the Christian faith.
A funeral or memorial service* is an important gathering and there are a number of things to consider in preparing for such a service:
(* Note: A memorial service is distinguished from a funeral chiefly in the sense that the body of the deceased is not present at a memorial, for whatever reason. The service is essentially the same in either case.)
Meeting with Clergy
Grief can be overwhelming, and in addition, people are often swamped by a multitude of tasks that need to be done. Family conflicts can become a factor. People can become very stressed, and making good decisions can become difficult. The clergy can provide a steady and calm presence in the midst of the chaos and offer a helpful perspective on things, and we are glad to be there for you at such difficult times.
Typically, families are immediately in touch with one of the funeral homes to deal with practical matters relating to the transport and care of the body, and details about obituary, flowers, cards, etc. However, please notify the Rector as soon as possible (604-936-7762) of a death and request for service. The Rector (the Rev. Grant Rodgers) will want to meet with the family to offer support, and to plan for the service.
Type of Service
The services we use are rooted in the Book of Common Prayer and The Book of Alternative Services. These make available the rich heritage of prayer and wisdom of the Church. A typical service would include readings from the Bible, hymns, prayers, and reflections by the clergy officiating.
It is helpful if the clergy know if there are special preferences by the deceased or the immediate family. These can often be included. A reflection or tribute from a family member, a video tribute, a special reading, poem or prayer, music by a family member – all these can personalize the service and help a family truly express its feelings and its faith.
It is very appropriate to celebrate the Eucharist in the context of a funeral, to be able to enter into that Communion which embraces this world and the kingdom which is to come. It can draw the community together in a powerful and reassuring expression of faith. This would be more appropriate in the case of people for whom this is a normal part of their spiritual practice.
An Anglican funeral or memorial service will usually be anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour in length, depending on the number of hymns, extra readings, etc. the family chooses. All such choices need to be in consultation with the Rector.
The benefit and effect of the service
A good funeral or memorial can be an important step in the process of healing. It is a way of addressing directly the fact of death, as opposed to denying or avoiding it. It allows a gathering of all those who loved the deceased, giving them all an opportunity to celebrate the person’s life, express their loss, and offer their support. The service puts the pain of death and loss into the larger perspective of faith, expressing the belief that death is not merely a termination, but a transition, a new beginning.
People’s emotions are welcome – tears are a gift and a blessing, an important release of stress and emotion, and a sign of the depth of our love, as well as our sadness. People may feel angry, cheated, confused, relieved, guilty, as well as sad. People’s faith is often tested by death. Often there are no simple or immediate answers. We will not judge how you feel or respond, but will try to walk with you as you come to terms with the loss as best you can.
Children are welcome – children too need to grieve and to be able to integrate the fact of death and loss into their lives. We invite you to enter fully into the liturgy, regardless of your feelings, and trust that the Spirit will be there to meet you at your point of need.
Location
Services are held either in the church, in the chapel of a funeral home, at graveside, or in a home, but people are encouraged to consider the church, with its symbolism and personal and historical connections. Whether or not the person has been a “faithful member” is not essential.
Music
The parish will be pleased to arrange for the services of our organist, Mr. Tony Gioventu, a skilled musician. Families may also wish to include other forms of music or opt for a more contemporary style of music. Please be sure to consult with the Rector on all aspects of music, as not all choices are possible or appropriate.
Flowers
Families are welcome to have flowers in the church for the service. These can be delivered earlier in the day by the florists or arranged through the funeral home.
Interment
The burial or interment most often happens immediately after the service or following the reception. The graveside service is quite brief, consisting of prayers and the placing of the casket or urn into the earth.
Because families often want to connect with each other and with friends immediately following the service, we recognize that the long trip to the cemetery can prevent that. So some families opt to wait until after the reception before proceeding to the cemetery. If the interment is held following the reception, families should be aware that clergy and funeral home staff will have other duties they need to attend to, so typically an official from the funeral home will set a time for the trip to the cemetery (usually after an hour of reception).
In the case of cremation, families sometimes opt for a later interment, to allow time decide on a location, or to relieve pressure on the day of the funeral/memorial.
Reception
People may choose to use the parish hall for a gathering afterward, or a room at the funeral home if the service happens there. Some choose to have no reception at all, or to gather with immediate family in someone’s home. This is your choice, but the clergy will be glad to discuss options and pros and cons with you.
Some choose to have speeches and tributes at the reception, and to display mementos reflecting the person’s life, whether in photographs or art work or crafts the person created.
Catering can be arranged through the parish, and in many cases the ACW (Anglican Church Women) group can provide a team to host and prepare the food.
Gifts/Honoraria
Gifts to the church, the clergy, organist, ACW, etc., are often arranged through the Funeral Home handling the practical affairs of the service. The funeral home can often best advise as to what is an appropriate amount in each case. But this is entirely a matter of personal discretion. We will not turn away anyone who cannot afford a donation.
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